Do You Know? Importannce of Breathing

One thing I knew from the beginning was the importance of breathing. You did too. Every child has played with breath holding and inwardly knows the connection between breathing and life. Then, we close ourselves off over time and set ourselves up for life-long sickness and disease. People would automatically boost their health with a self-love session of Full–Wave Breathing. The time given to the health of the body is an act of self-love that benefits all aspects of life.

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Do You Know? Important Mood Management Tool

What do hugs, chocolate and Full–Wave Breathing have in common? All three produce oxytocin—the warm and fuzzy, we’re connected chemical. This “bonding hormone makes us feel secure and loved. Have a quickie with Full–Wave Breathing at any time throughout your day and you will feel better. Humming works too, tho requiring more effort

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Rainbow Tree

Contributed by ACPI Parent Coach Sedef Orsel.

Sedef Orsel is a bilingual ACPI Certified Coach® for Parents and Families, and a Certified Connection Parenting Facilitator.

sedef”in web’deki yeni adresi:
http://www.cocukluyuzbiz.com
ve
sedefin turkce blog adresi/sedef’s blog in turkish:
http://parentcoach-sedef.blogspot.com/

please check sedef’s new website:
http://www.coachsedef.com

sedef’s blog in english/sedefin ingilizce blog adresi:
http://parentcoachsedef.blogspot.com/

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Feed Negativity or Feed Intention

When negativity knocks at your door, do you recognize it and send it away? Or do you invite it in for dinner, or worse, to stay with you as long as it likes—possibly for your lifetime?

First, be clear that being the manager of negativity in your life isn’t about the fact you have negative thoughts or feelings—you will. It isn’t about eliminating negative thoughts and feelings so you never experience them again—that’s not realistic. It is about training your conscious mind to notice such thoughts and feelings when they appear, and to recognize the different “costumes” negativity wears. You can’t manage negativity until you recognize and own how you engage it.

Whatever costume negativity puts on, what’s really embodied is fear. You might call it anger or another emotion, but underlying any negative emotion is fear—the fear you’ll lose something. This has everything to do with living in your personal power.

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “Natural anger lasts for only about seventeen seconds.” This means the actual emotion you feel (any negative emotion) has its full-charge expression for that period of time. Past that, your conscious (and subconscious) mind takes over, usually engaging in reactions related to whatever fear was triggered.

When fear is triggered, you may project a negative future vision. You may pull up old memories to support why you feel the way you do. You’d call this justification for the reaction. What it really is, is feeding negativity—because you aren’t focused on what you can do that’s productive; you’re focused on self-preservation at any cost. Depending on your habitual reaction mode, you may close up like a telescope or let your sharp claws and teeth out.

Here are several common forms of negativity you may feed (or feed on)—

• Prejudice of ANY kind (race, religion, financial status, etc.)
• Demonstrating lack of self-respect or respect for others (if you do one, you do the other)
• Unproductive criticism (everyone needs to vent; but there’s a productive way to do this)
• Replaying past events as though they’re still happening (which only triggers more negative emotions in the present)
• Allowing more “news” into your life than you really need to know (this includes any form of “entertainment” or “information” that creates extraneous negative feelings for you about anything that doesn’t have a direct impact on your life or how you choose to engage it)
• Intentionally negative “humor” or comments (sadly, the ability to slam someone with hurtful words, directly or indirectly, is considered a prized trait)
• Paying more attention to what others are doing than what you’re doing
• Telling jokes or using comments to bash others (gender-bashing is top of this list)
• Stating speculations then acting as though they’re facts (ignoring that maybe you don’t have enough information)
• Using the words “always” and “never” (or labels), especially when you assign them to others’ behaviors (which closes your mind to allowing they “could” one day be different)

You can add more to this list as they occur to you. A good question to ask yourself whenever you do one of these is, “What fear is underneath this for me, and how can I address it appropriately?”

Feeding negativity is a learned habit. You can

1. Acknowledge you engage in it.
2. Remind yourself to get your own attention about this. Author Guy Finley said, “No intention can be any stronger than our ability to remember it in the moment that it is needed.”
3. Start now to begin to do things differently. Choose to ask if your attitude, words, and actions are aligned with opening the path for a desired productive experience and outcome. There’s a difference in telling someone you feel angry and why and asking them to participate in a mutually beneficial resolution, and verbally attacking them. There’s a difference in telling yourself what you feel, why you feel it, and considering what you can do rather than entering the negative vortex.
4. Consider how you really see your authentic self. It isn’t that you have to suppress your personality or nature. It isn’t that you have to deny and keep quiet about what you really feel. It’s about what you do from there and how you do it. What do you really want to feed—as your experience and what you believe about yourself? If you don’t believe in your personal power, and right to live from it, how can you expect to act from there?

Train yourself to respond more often than you react; and acknowledge that will take conscious energy management. Reactions happen when you feel events or others have more power than you do. They don’t; that’s an illusion. They can only have as much power over you as you give them.

Any person or event that tests your personal power is an opportunity for you to pause and consider how you really see yourself: are you a volunteer victim or someone who looks out for your best interests—with integrity? If you feed (or feed on) negativity on a consistent basis, it can seem nearly impossible to feel you embody personal power.

Personal power is not a way of acting—it’s a way of BEing, even if you have to BEcome it one more-consciously-aware moment at a time.

Compare how much time you give to negative thoughts, feelings, words, and actions to the time you apply these to what makes you feel authentic, joyful, intentional, fulfilled—living on purpose.

No matter what’s going on around you, you always choose how to experience and process it. When you embrace this as a fact, you stand in your personal power. The more you do this, the more your innate power expands.

Feed negativity or feed intentional living. The choice is yours.

If joy and success are your desired experiences, get your e-copy of Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business today, or learn about the coaching program. Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach and author of I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, but I Have Something to Say (jls1422@yahoo.com). Get 8 FREE life-enhancing e-books, all of her e-books at a bargain—and a gift, and see her services at http://joyceshafer-ebookbundle.webs.com

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What the Inventor of the Flu Shot NOW Thinks of the Vaccine…

What the Inventor of the Flu Shot NOW Thinks of the Vaccine….

 

The CDC’s public relations campaign has been running “scare” ads that portray swine flu as a full-blown “pandemic” responsible for snuffing out countless lives. But scientists and health officials throughout the world have called the governments claims unjustified and deliberately misleading.

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Prenatal Diet Sets Food Preferences

If the smell of beets makes you gag but you simply can’t get enough sour crème and chive potato chips, your Mom may be to blame — and not because of what she fed you growing up. Several studies show that food preferences may be set even before you’re born, as early as 13 weeks after gestation. And those preferences derive from what your Mom ate while you were in the womb. 

Read more at Jon Barron’s Natural Health Blog

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BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

Effective communication is the foundation for all satisfactory
relationships.  Daily communication is the only activity that has been
found to be common to all satisfying marital relationships.  Truthful
communication is the basis for the development of “basic trust” (the
primary emotion for healthy parent/child relationships).  Most all
leaders are gifted communicators.  Without successful communication,
we don’t become fully human.  Our language skills are what separates
us from all other species.

By the time we become adults, most of us have experienced (or have
personally developed) barriers to effective communication.  These
barriers distort/prevent our communication abilities.  Here are some
of the most common barriers to effective communication.

PASSIVITY. Communication requires energy. It requires initiation and
responsiveness. If you remain passive, communication is slow at best.

DOMINANCE. If you dominate the communication process, it becomes a
“one-way street”, and prevents responses. Domination may be by words,
behavior, tone, threat, perceived authority, or manipulation.

INAPPROPRIATE SELF-DISCLOSURE. Talking about yourself rather than
responding from yourself, usually changes the subject or focus of the
communication.

INTERROGATION OR GRILLING. Protecting yourself from meaningful
contact by any one of the following patterns:

 a.  Internal taboo against crying (emotional expression).
 b.  Talking exclusively about safe topics.
 c.  Avoiding your own uncomfortable issues.
 d.  Offering false reassurance.
 e.  Emotionally detaching from the topic or person.
 f.  Intellectualization (a common favorite).

USING CRUDE LANGUAGE. May be powerful, but usually turns others off.

USING JARGON. Using words that belong exclusively to your area of
expertise… “legalese”, medicalese,” or “psychologese.”

MORALIZING OR ADMONISHING. Imposing your own value judgments on
another’s verbalizations or telling another that s/he or the ideas are
wrong, bad, etc.

PATRONIZING. Condescending words, tone, or behavior as if you were
talking to a person of less value than yourself always makes the other
feel defensive and blocks communication.

INEPT CONFRONTATION. Arguing or being dogmatic in your language or
attitude.

PRESSURE TACTICS. Using threat, implied or explicit, to persuade the
other regarding the topic.

INSENSITIVITY TO FEELINGS. Being callous or unaware of your own
feelings as well as the other to whom you are communicating.

As you may have noted from all the above, there are many and varied
behaviors that hinder skillful communication.  As you become more
aware of such barriers, you have the opportunity to avoid engaging in
them.

In a future column, I will list a number of behaviors that
enhance/strengthen effective communication.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D. has 30+ years experience as a Life Coach and
Licensed Psychologist.  He is available for coaching in any area
presented in “Practical Life Coaching” (formerly “Practical
Psychology”).  Initial coaching sessions are free.  E-mail: DrLloyd@CreatingLeaders.com or LJTDAT@aol.com.

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Just a thought

Currently, the estimates are that there are 30 Million uninsured, and since there are 300 million legal residents in the US, that means that currently 90% of Americans are insured. So this legistation, costing close to a trillion dollars, essentially covers an additional 4% of the population. What am I missing?

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Healthy Thought for the Day:

The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.–Mike Dooley

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WHAT IS WELLNESS?

By Lloyd J. Thomas, Ph.D.

The best way to “reform the health care system” is to take full
responsibility for your “wellness.”  When you take charge of your own
wellness, you not only increase the prevention of illness, you also
optimize your health and well-being.  When you make wellness choices,
you also strengthen your own healing system.  We all have a healing
system.  There are a couple obvious indicators that this is true.  One
is the action of the “placebo effect,” which is when you “cure”
yourself from disease without the aid of any known medicine or
treatment.  A second fact that points to a healing system is that
there is no known illness from which at least some people have been
healed without any help outside their own bodies.  Your wellness
actions enhance your healing system.

The topic of “wellness” is an outgrowth of the realization that there
is more to being healthy than the absence of illness.  Like
“sickness,” wellness is difficult to define. Wellness in an ongoing
process of fully living. Here are some definitions/ideas about it.
WELLNESS IS:

A CHOICE — A decision you make to move toward optimal health.

A WAY OF LIVING — A lifestyle you design to achieve your highest
potential for your own well-being.

A PROCESS — A realization that you never “arrive” at optimal health,
but that health and happiness are evolutionary processes.

LIVING NOW — In the moment, the present time. Actually, the eternal
present is all we have ever directly experience anyway. So, you might
as well keep your awareness from moment to moment.

AN EFFICIENT CHANNELING OF ENERGY — We are an open energy system. We
receive food, air, water, and sensory input from the environment,
transform these within our bodies, anal send the energy out to affect
the world outside ourselves in the form of heat or movement.

THE INTEGRATION OF BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT — The appreciation that
everything you do, think, feel, and believe, has an impact on your
state of health. We are a unity. We are a part of the universe in
which we live. We cannot be broken up into parts and remain human.

LOVING ACCEPTANCE OF YOURSELF — Learning to love your whole self .

TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE — Becoming responsible for your own life,
living in the present, becoming aware of process, and channeling your
life-energy in all you think, feel, say, and do.

BREATHING, COMMUNICATING, EATING, PLAYING, WORKING, FINDING MEANING,
MOVING, TRANSCENDING, THINKING, SENSING, FEELING, CREATING, LIVING
FULLY EVERY MINUTE.

When you enhance your wellness choices/behaviors, you maximize your
enjoyment of being alive!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dr. Thomas is a licensed psychologist, author, speaker, and life
coach.  He serves on the faculty of the International University of
Professional Studies. He recently co-authored (with Patrick Williams)
the book: “Total Life Coaching: 50+ Life Lessons, Skills and
Techniques for Enhancing Your Practice…and Your Life!” (W.W. Norton
2005) It is available at your local bookstore or on Amazon.com.

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